Tabloid Whore!

10.31.2005

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

So, I was all set to be The Carver from Nip/Tuck for Halloween. I searched everywhere for my white mask, I perfected my Carver head tilt, and then...I painted The Carver's infamous lips and eyebrows onto the mask. That is where the trouble began. I put the mask on and to my horror (and not in a good way), I looked in the mirror and staring back at me was something more along the lines of Kabuki than Carver. It wasn't scary. Since it made people laugh instead of scream I had to change my costume plans and be a lady pimp instead. It may not be a scary costume like I hoped, but I got a myself a big ass rimmed zebra hat and plenty o' bling. Holla!
Speaking of Nip/Tuck...tomorrow night's episode is going to be fantastic. My girl Anne Heche is going to be on for a few episodes where she is set to be transformed into mob socialite. The twist to it (and a brilliant one at that) is that she'll start off the episode with dark hair and a fake nose, teeth and lower lip then goes under the knife for a cosmetic disguise and ends up looking like the real Anne Heche. Anne is said to be thrilled to be on the show and says, "They turn me into me." Also, look for her character to get romantic with Sean.
Tune in! Anne is the best!

10.28.2005

KATE MOSS OUT OF REHAB. PROBABLY ALREADY SNORTING UP A LINE.

"Just a minute love, Mummy has to get some candy from that nice man in the park!"
E! Online is reporting that darling Kate Moss checked out of an Arizona rehab clinic earlier this week. Hey! How did that coke whore get out so fast? Even Courtney Love had to stay in longer than that! Moss entered rehab last month after she was caught red handed (and on video!) filling her nose with blow at a late-night recording session for her boyfriend Pete Doherty (another winner). Upon her release, her modeling agency released the following statement: "Kate is in excellent spirits and looking forward to getting back to work. She would like to thank everyone for their messages of support as they have played a major part in helping her." Oh please. I wish they would have taken that child away from her!

10.27.2005

LAGUNA BEACH'S TALAN TAKING A WALK ON THE SCUMMY SIDE.

Ew Talan! Seems as though the Laguna Beach kid is taking this celeb thing in all the wrong directions. Lloyd Grove's Lowdown is reporting Talan Torriero's new BFF is none other than scummy Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. Blech! First off, what a loser Francis is for hanging out with an 18 year old (Francis is 32). Lowdown spy's said that at Ok! Magazine's West Coast launch party in L.A. Tuesday night, Talan "was inseparable from the 32-year-old Francis, who appeared to be schooling him in the dark arts of partying and hitting on women." Sooo Gross. Lowdown also says that the two lovebirds had just returned on Francis' private jet from a weekend with Stavros Niarchos (ew! Slimey Greek guy!) and other pals at Francis' lavish estate in Punta Mita, Mexico. Good job, you're keeping great company Talan!
Yesterday Francis' rep, Bill Horn, said: "They travel in the same social circles and they have a lot in common, because they grew up in the same town and went to the same high school." Um, ok. Gee, maybe Talan is looking for tips from Francis for his upcoming rock cd, which sound he compares to The Mars Volta. Ya, right Talan, give me a break! Better watch out hanging with Francis or you might end up bound & gagged with a pink dildo lying on your ass! LOWDOWN

Laguna Beach Finale

Laguna Beach: LC Gets Her Own Show
Laguna Beach: What's Happening Now
Laguna Beach's Kristin Lands Movie Role
Laguna Beach Recap: LC and Jason, DUNZO!
L.C and Jason? Oh. My. Gaw.
Laguna Beach Secrets

WHAT? YOU'RE OUT CORNROW'N & CLUBBING WHILE I'M CHANGING DIAPERS??

Britney Spears allegedly laughed in Kevin Federline's face when she heard a demo of his music recently. In Touch Weekly is claiming that when he brought home his music from the studio, Kevin was “greeted with hurtful laughter from his superstar wife, who was unimpressed,” “She said his debut CD might sell ‘a hundred, maybe a thousand’ copies if he was lucky,’” an “insider” told the mag, who added, “Kevin looked really hurt.” Ha. These freakin "insiders." I have a hard time believing that 1) Someone was mysteriously in the room and witnessed the whole thing. 2) That Britney would ever laugh at Federline because she seems to be mucho mucho in love & supportive of the motherchucker. Although, there have been whispers about Britney & Kevin going through a rough patch (I'm not close to being convinced), and that she is allegedly fed up with his behavior after the birth of their son. In Touch adds, Her “tolerance for his behavior is waning quickly.” For example, while Spears was busy changing their infant son’s diapers, Federline reportedly spent two hours getting his hair braided. And after a blow-up on Oct. 19, Federline went to a nightclub called Mood, where he partied until well after midnight. Ok, well, yes, photos did surface of Kevin going to the club which was not a good thing (stay home with your baby & wife!!), fight or not AND he does have those ugly ass corn rows now. All I know is that he better be treating Britney right or there will be hell to pay. But you know what Doctor Phil says, "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." Oh my, girlfriend could be in trouble. MSNBC

10.26.2005

JANET'S DENYING IT.

Janet Jackson is officially denying claims that she has a secret daughter. It all started when the little brother of her ex-husband James DeBarge said on a radio show last week that Janet and his brother had a child named Renee that was living with Rebbie Jackson, Janet's oldest sister. Young DeBarge added, "James and the Jackson family kept everything real close, real tight."
Janet released a statement of denial today to Access Hollywood:
"I do not have a child and all allegations saying so are false."
Hmmmm...very interesting how she doesn't deny ever giving birth.

TONYA HARDING. STILL CRAZY.

Tonya Harding is still starved for attention. She called 911 the other day saying that she was attacked by two masked men who came to her home and assaulted her. But what really happened was she had a fight with her boyfriend (hey, at least she's creative). Christopher Nolan, 27, was charged with assault and pleaded not guilty Monday. He told deputies Harding threw him down and bit his finger when he said she had too much to drink Sunday. Harding, 34, had a small cut over her right eye and an abrasion on her left cheek. So, lets get this straight. Tonya calls 911 under false pretenses and doesn't get arrested? Plus, she bit the dudes finger! Ridiculous. But more importantly, have you seen this bitch lately? Girlfriend gave up skating and is a boxer now and I can't tell if that is bulk or fat, but she looks horrible! If I was a dude I would be scared to date her! DAILY NEWS

10.25.2005

PARIS HILTON WITH TOM SIZEMORE PHOTO

SURE YA DON'T KNOW SIZEMORE, BITCH!
Vivid Entertainment has released this photo of Tom Sizemore and Paris Hilton after her recent claims she never met the man. Caught, Bitch! Like thousands of other men, Tom Sizemore recently made claims that he sexed Paris Hilton at his house a few years ago. We all know she is a slut, so for once, let's believe something Sizemore is saying. Paris of course denied the claims and turned them around as an attempt by Sizemore to get publicity for his new sex video.
Hilton says no such thing happened. “It’s disappointing that Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs,” she told The Scoop in a statement issued through her spokesman. “He is not an acquaintance of mine nor have I ever had intimate relations with him.”
Uh huh. You know she totally had sex with him. PARIS HILTON: WHORE THEN, WHORE NOW!

DRAMARAMA SAYS, HEY, "EVERYBODY DIES."

Dramarama is back with a new album called, "Everybody Dies."
It must be an amazing feat for a band when their very first single out of the box becomes so huge, that 20 years later it can still rank #1 with radio listeners on all time favorite song countdowns. There's a band that I have been a huge fan of for several years that has accomplished this feat, and that band is named Dramarama. The year was 1985 and a little song named "Anything, Anything" hit the airwaves of KROQ radio in Los Angeles, CA. Now it's 2005 and people may not always remember the name of the band, but they remember the song with that blazing opening riff and the unforgettable hook, "I'll give you candy! Give you diamonds! Give you pills! I'll give you anything you want, hundred dollar bills! I'll even let you watch the shows you wanna see, just marry me, marry me, maaarrry meee!" Aww, Dramarama, good stuff, good memories. They broke up a long time ago and with the exception of a solo album from the one, the only, the fabulous, lead singer John Easdale, fans haven't had any new Dramarama music in (holy crap!) about 12 years! Thanks to VH1's fab show "Bands Reunited," all original members of Dramarama came together last year for a reunion show at the Roxy in Los Angeles. That's when the wheels started turning and to the delight of their hardcore fans, original band members John Easdale, Peter Wood and Mark "Mr. E Boy" Englert brought the band back to life. The result of this is a brand new Dramarama CD called "Everybody Dies" in stores TODAY!
John has always been the master of the rock 'n' roll rhyme and this time around, he's still the master, but he changes it up a bit. The title track "Everybody Dies," was written in honor of his late friend, the awesome Greg Dwinnell. Let me tell you, it's the happiest little tune about death I've ever heard and will no doubt make you think of lost loved ones with a smile on your face. Old school fans will recognize "Physical Poetry" (yes! one of my faves!) if you went to Easdale's solo shows, not to mention a revamped "Try 5 Times." Unfortunately, still no sign on the new CD of "Everyday," one of Dramarama's best unreleased tracks to date (yes John, that was not so subtle hint to you!). I will admit, the only downside to the CD for me is that I'm not crazy about the cover art. But I assure you, the music makes up for it in spades. I have no doubt this new Dramarama album will be rockin' my fancy new Nano for months to come. But please guys, just don't make us wait another 12 years before the next release! Welcome back boys! Yippee!!!
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO DRAMARAMA'S NEW SINGLE "EVERYBODY DIES" AND GET UP TO DATE BAND INFO ON THEIR MYSPACE PROFILE!!!!

10.24.2005

SHIT! CLOONEY'S BRAIN WAS BOUNCING!

Oh that poor George Clooney. He is such a cutie pie and I loved him so on ER. Who knew that underneath those dashing looks and handsome smile, for the past year Clooney was a man dealing with unimaginable physical pain. He has described the last 12 months as the worst year he has ever had. Little known fact until now, Clooney had suffered a brain injury while filming the forthcoming movie Syriana which resulted in such horrific pain that he considered suicide just to escape it. He says, "There was this scene where I was taped to the chair and getting beaten up. The chair was kicked over and I hit my head. "I tore my dura, which is the wrap around my spine that holds in the spinal fluid. But it's not my back; it's my brain. I basically bruised my brain. "It's bouncing around my head because it's not supported by the spinal fluid." Holy Moly! After the accident, he battled excruciating headaches and serious memory loss. Doctors initially struggled to identify the problem, but a neurologist eventually discovered the severity of his injuries and Clooney immediately underwent a series of operations to banish his headaches. "Before the surgery it was the most unbearable pain I've ever been through, literally where you'd go, 'Well, you'll have to kill yourself at some point, you can't live like this."

ANNE RICE TACKLES JESUS.

Fans of Anne Rice, say goodbye to the Vampires. The author who hasn't put out a book since 2003's Blood Canticle, the last volume of her best-selling Vampire Series, has decided to move on. Gone are her stories about vampires, witches and under the pseudonym A. N. Roquelaure— the soft-core S&M encounters of Sleeping Beauty. That's because in two weeks, Rice will publish "Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt," a novel about the 7-year-old Jesus, narrated by Christ himself. From now on, it's all about Jesus.
Rice told Newsweek, "I promised," she says, "that from now on I would write only for the Lord." She realizes that "Out of Egypt" and its three upcoming sequels could alienate her loyal following, but calls Christ "the ultimate supernatural hero ... the ultimate immortal of them all."

10.22.2005

SHARON GETS THE MONEY.

A very wise judge ruled on Friday that Sharon Rocha, the mother of Laci Peterson, will receive the $250,000 life insurance policy that Scott Peterson had taken out on his wife Laci. Sharon had to go to court to fight for it because Scott, who is currently on death row for the murder of his wife, did not want to give up the money until all his appeals were exhausted (we're talking possibly 20+ years here). Stanislaus County Superior Court Judge Roger Beauchesne said Friday that because Scott Peterson was convicted of killing his pregnant wife, Laci, and the fetus she carried, he is not entitled to collect the benefits of her life insurance policy. Under state law, criminals cannot profit from their crimes. He said the money should go to the executor of her estate, which is Laci Peterson’s mother, Sharon Rocha. Again, justice was served. THE SACRAMENTO UNION

MADONNA: I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET

I just finished watching Madonna's new tour documentary "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret." It's the follow-up to her 1991 documentary "Truth Or Dare," which I loved... Now Madonna is a completely different woman, she's spiritual, insightful, she's a mom, she's mature and she isn't going-down on Evian bottles anymore. I loved seeing how she has transformed over the past several years and in my opinion, you can thank those children of hers for that! Oh my God, those kids of hers! They pop in here and there and are just amazing. Her daughter Lourdes is this absolutely beautiful little girl who takes after the adult Madonna rather than the younger day Madonna. There is a great little scene where Madonna asks her how to pronounce "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret" in French and Lourdes just rambles it off to her with perfect pronunciation. Her son Rocco is an adorable firecracker and definitely has the playfulness of his father, Guy Ritchie. Speaking of Guy, he is one of the best parts of this documentary. Unfortunately, he wasn't on screen enough. Every time he was, I laughed my ass off (don't even get me started on the scene where he is singing in the car). He is a hunka hunka cutie pie and is funny, funny, funny (he's so much better than that grumpy Sean Penn!). I love watching him and Madonna together, it's no wonder she loves the man so much. Ha. I got so caught up with Guy and the kids I almost forgot to mention her concert. The concert scenes are incredible, theatrical and amazing! Oh, how I would kill to go to a Madonna concert! Yah, Madonna throws in a bunch of stuff about Kabbalah, she gets political, but she does it in such a way that it makes you think, instead of annoying the hell out of you. Fans of the Truth or Dare will be pleased to know that in "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret," Madonna still reads her assistants those silly little poems she writes for them, not to mention sucks on the lozenge during the pre-show prayer circle with her dancers.
For those of you who missed it, "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret" will air on VH1 Thu Oct 27, 9/8c PM.

10.21.2005

BABY SNATCHER?

Alec Baldwin, who still can be a pretty good actor but is indeed IMHO a loony toone, has accused his ex-wife Kim Basinger of "child snatching." Their custody battle for daughter Ireland re-ignited last month when Baldwin accused his former partner of violating an existing custody order when she allegedly refused to hand over Ireland for a scheduled visit. Alec was so pissed off by this that he called the police and filed papers for more custody privileges and said through his lawyer, "I look forward to resolving this in court." Sad how people who once had non-stop sex together in their movie trailers on the set of The Marrying Man could end up hating each other so. Handbag

GIVE! ME! YOUR! SPERM! NOW! BITCH!!!

Aside from being gross, that Dennis Rodman is a complete cracker jack. In his book "I Should Be Dead By Now," he is claiming that Madonna begged him to impregnate her when they were dating in 1994. Yah right. Fool! Look at Carlos Leon, look at Guy Ritchie...she only goes after the pretty ones to make them babies!
Rodman claims that he was gambling in a Sin City casino when he received a desperate phonecall from Madonna, the ovulating girlfriend:
"It was like the 'somebody died call' from New York. I picked up the phone and Madonna was like, 'I'm ovulating, I'm ovulating. Get your ass up here.' "So I left my chips on the table, flew five hours to New York and did my thing. We got done and she was standing on her head in an attempt to promote conception - just like any girl trying to get pregnant. "I flew back to Las Vegas and picked up my game where I left off."
Seriously, I think he is one of the dumbest men on the planet.
Now I'm off to go stand on my head. Toodles!

JENNIFER GARNER IS HUGE!


Geesh! Every single post I have done today has been on a pregnant celebrity...I apologize for that. Maybe if Hollywood would stop getting knocked up (especially out of wedlock!) we would have some better stories, but right now the preggers are dominating the headlines. I love Jennifer Garner, she is adorable...look at these pictures floating around of her and ex-BF Michael Vartan during a recent shoot for Alias. I don't watch the show (shocker, I know!) but unless their characters are partaking in a Kaballah wedding, it looks like it's some dream sequence by the way they are all in white. His character is dead as a door knob on the show, no? Damn, that Vartan is so cute. Oh! I almost forgot to write about why I posted these pictures...just look how uncomfortable and tight lipped that kiss is between the exes. Jen does not want Ben to get upset. Also, look how big she is! That baby better be popping out any day now.

FORGET MORNING SICKNESS, KATE'S STILL "AMAZING!"

So, I saw Katie Holmes on Access Hollywood last night at a Rock 'n Republic fashion show (love their jeans!) and she is dang happy about being preggers, plus she looks all glowy happy and shit. Katie said, "I feel great, (being pregnant) is so beautiful. I've never been so happy. ... I'm beaming." It makes me really sad because she did look soooo happy and gorgeous and I really wish I could believe in her and Tom Cruise's relationship. Damn, I am one of the lone people out there still rooting for & believing in Nick and Jessica. There are so many unhappy, divorcing or fighting celebrity couples and the one seemingly (to use T&K's favorite word) "amazing!" one has to be heavily rumored to be a sham. Oh well. Katie also said that her and Tom don't have a wedding date yet because there is so much excitement going on. I highly doubt that because we know daddy Holmes would not stand for that, but I don't blame her for not saying anything to the press..duh! Although, she did say her and Tom have started to work on a baby room and said excitedly, "I'm learning how to knit!" O.K. now that was a bit cliche and scripted if you ask me. What's up with this myth about learning to knit when you are pregnant? I hate that! I'd be out buying up Baby Juicy all over town, not sitting on my ass knitting booties. ACCESS HOLLYWOOD

PICTURES OF BRITNEY & KEVIN'S BABY!!

UPDATE: SEE THE OFFICIAL PEOPLE COVER CLICK HERE!

SORRY PEOPLE, THIS GIRL'S GOT JEANS TO BUY. I'M NOT GETTING ME ASS SUED!


A statement released late Friday by Spears' record label, Jive Records, said the photos were swiped from a private photo session. "Anyone who publishes, sells or otherwise exploits any of these images in any way will be subject to liability and damages for willful infringement of copyright, and will be liable for invasion of privacy," the statement read.


Here are the first baby photos of Sean Preston Spears Federline. Aww, I can't wait to see them when/if they are published for real. They were supposed to be published in PEOPLE, but Page Six is reporting the following:
BRITNEY Spears (above) changed her mind about letting the world see her baby. The pop tart posed for studio shots with her new tot, Sean Preston Spears Federline, and hubby Kevin Federline last week in L.A. The pictures by Mark Liddel were supposed to go to People magazine for millions — but the next day, Spears "started freaking out," our insider said. "She started crying that she was selling out her baby and couldn't give up the pictures." A People rep said, "We have not purchased nor paid for any photos of Britney this week."
Nevertheless, that kid is adorable! Now we know for sure Kevin's kids with Shar Jackson take after their mother (phew!) The photo on the bottom left hand corner is absolutely precious! Don't anyone dare call Britney a bad mother!!
Thanks to JPFL for the scoop!!! You done good!

10.20.2005

PAULA ABDUL SINGLE AGAIN.

Ryan Seacrest confirmed on his radio program this morning that Paula Abdul and hunky boy toy Dante Spencer are indeed broken up. His morning show partner Ellen said the gossip on the street was that Dante seemed to only want to go to places with Paula where he could schmoozy schmooze with those around him. Paula don't need that! No worries, Ryan said Paula is doing better than great.

X-TINA DOESN'T WANT YOUR DAMN GIFTS!

She's already got Jordy.

In the world of celebrity, it's a lot of "gimme! gimme! gimme! what can I get for free?" That's why it's very refreshing when one of them realizes that there is a real world with people suffering outside of their "catered to" bubble and does something about it. According to Contact Music, bride to be Christina Aguilera is urging her family and friends not to buy her wedding gifts when she exchanges vows with Jordan Bratman in December - she wants them to give the cash they would have spent on her to charity. A card included with their wedding invitations asks "While we celebrate the richness of life and all the circumstances that have blessed us in career and love, we are mindful of those who are suffering greatly as a result of hurricanes Katrina and Rita. "The best gift you could give us is a donation to any of the organizations helping the stricken citizens of New Orleans." You know they would have been getting some $$pimp$$ gifts. That's some good Karma, girl. Happy Wedding.

YEP. SOUNDS LIKE HE CHEATED.

It has not been officially confirmed, but by the way One Tree Hill's Sophia Bush is talking, it certainly sounds like her husband of 5 months Chad Michael Murray cheated on her. Sophia, being the tough, cool chick she is, dumped his ass when she found out (right on sister!). She tells PEOPLE, "I'm a big girl. I'm a strong girl, It's not that I don't respect other women in my position, but there are things I won't forgive. I have too much going on in my life to focus on." Uh huh. Sounds like he cheated. What as ass. Sophia isn't letting the split affect her on- screen relationship (ie shooting romantic scenes) with Murray though. "My job is my job, and my personal life is my personal life, and I keep them separate," she tells PEOPLE. "It's my job. It's not always easy, but it's my work – it's what I love and take pride in, and I won't let that slack because of personal circumstances." Sophia is gorgeous and awesome and will find a better man (and hotter!) than Murray in no time. PEOPLE

HANDCUFFED.

Something weird went down at a T-Mobile party Tuesday night. Actress Rose McGowan from WB's Charmed was handcuffed by security and escorted out of the party. The New York Daily News is reporting that McGowan was "on the dancefloor of The Vanguard club when she was doing something with her keys tha caused security guards to surround her. They grabbed McGowan, searched her purse and showed her out the door." Huh? Say What? I wanna know what the hell was so doing with her keys that would cause her purse to be searched? McGowan's reps have a slightly different version of events. "There was a man standing uncomfortably close to her. When she asked him to move away, words were exchanged. It happened he was a security guard. She was handcuffed and taken outside." The Rep says McGowan "was detained," but police were not called. Hmmm....something's fishy. Sounds like a piece is missing from this puzzle. New York Daily News

"GIRLS GONE WILD" CREATOR GETS SERIOUSLY VIOLATED (HOW IRONIC)

"My name is Joe Francis, I'm from Boys Gone Wild and I like it up the ass."

Those were the actual words spoken on videotape (now in the hands of the L.A.P.D.) by Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, while being held at gunpoint. RADAR, one of the best magazines on the stands today, has an incredible article written by Mark Ebner about "how a smooth talking, social climbing con man with a penchant for home movies and blackmail turned the tables on Hollywood's T&A titan." That T&A titan is the Girls Gone Wild guy and any woman who has a modicum of intelligence does not like him. Basically, he is this pig who gets stupid or drunk women to flash their tits or do other sexual acts in front of a video camera and then sells it all for the great price of $9.99. Not to mention, he's made a bazillion dollars off of this. Well, it looks as though this time the tables were turned on him. I remember hearing a while ago that he got robbed or something, but it was nothing like this. Now, RADAR uncovers the truth.

The article first describe the video tape as such:
Francis is shirtless, lying face down on a mattress, his head resting on a pillow. His eyes flutter at half-mast. His mouth is puddeled in a stuporous grin, and he looks very, very high. The camera pans down to reveal his pants dragged down around his knees and a pink vibrator resting on the crest of his buttocks, lazily gyrating with an irritating whine.

Apparently, a small time Hollywood hustler named Darnell Riley allegedly entered Francis's Bel Air home, held him at gunpoint and proceeded to videotape him in humiliating positions. He then allegedly stole a bunch of stuff from Francis, drove off in his Bentley all while Francis was in the car's trunk bound & gagged. The car was left at the gates of Bel Air and found by private security guards. Later, Riley allegedly tried to extort $300,ooo and $500,000 from Francis for the return of the tape. He has since been arrested and awaiting trial.

In an interesting six degrees of separation, Riley has a connection with another videotape whore...Paris Hilton! The Radar article claims that In June the Globe reported that he had possession of the 12 hours of embarrassing videotape stolen in August 2004 from Hilton's home and was using them to blackmail her for as much as $20,000 a month. The videos reportedly have Hilton engaging in sexual acts with Nick Carter, model Jason Shaw and rolling and smoking a joint. They also contain the "alleged incident" where Hilton was captured on videotape at a nightclub calling two African American men "dumb n***ers" behind their backs (hey! we were just talking about that in an earlier post!) which reportedly caused the strained relations between Paris and Nicole Richie an led to their BFF breakup. Now it makes even more sense why in a country consumed by the internet, this career threatening videotape never got leaked to it.

Naughty, naughty, stuff. The article appears in the Nov/Dec issue of RADAR. Or, you can read it in its entirety on Radar's website. Trust me, pick it up...you don't want to miss this.

10.19.2005

LAGUNA BEACH: THE BOOK

Oh dear. Even I think this is going too far. This one is for the seriously Laguna Beach obsessed only. MTV Books is coming out with "Laguna Beach: Life Inside the Bubble," a more or less "Laguna Bible" where we learn about the kids lives before MTV came along. God help me, is the publishing industry really THAT starved for material?
Coming November 14th from MTV Books
You've seen the backstabbing, betrayal and small
town gossip. You've seen hook-ups, break-ups, and make-ups - and all during just two years of school. Now find out what life was like for the stars of Laguna Beach before the hit series. Think you know Kristin, Talan, Stephen, Taylor, LC and their friends? Think again. Packed with tons of exclusive material, from embarrassing baby photos to first-kiss stories, Laguna Beach: Life Inside the Bubble has everything you ever wanted to know about Laguna Beach's teen royalty.
You'll find out:
• How and when Stephen and LC hooked up and the "drama" that followed
• How Stephen and Kristin started dating
• Why Trey got interested in activism and politics
• How Lo learns that it's better to go to a party in Laguna Beach than to give one
• Talan's life as a pre-teen football star
• Taylor and Alex M.'s early fights over boys
• What their lives were like growing up
• What they all thought of each other when they first met, how their friendships formed, and more

Laguna Beach Finale

Laguna Beach: LC Gets Her Own Show
Laguna Beach: What's Happening Now
Laguna Beach's Kristin Lands Movie Role
Laguna Beach Recap: LC and Jason, DUNZO!
L.C and Jason? Oh. My. Gaw.
Laguna Beach Secrets

NICOLE OR MARYKATE?


So, today we should just declare as "we hate Paris Hilton" day. There's this video going around of Paris and tag-a-long wanna-be nothing Kimberly Stewart entering Spider Club and Paris is heard yelling on her cell phone "She's so ugly and jealous! She's just a jealous, ugly, anorexic idiot...I know, she's pathetic!" Such a sweet girl. What is even more pathetic is the way the papparazzi are swarming her and begging her for photos. "Pleasssse Paris? Please??" It's not very exciting, but it just shows even more what a fake bitch she is. Was Paris Hilton trashing Mary Kate Olsen or Nicole RICHIE? Guess Mommy & Daddy Hilton couldn't stop this video hitting the streets unlike when she was caught on home video calling two African American men "dumb N***ers". What a stupid bitch. CHECK IT OUT. (click on "watch flash preview")

AND ANOTHA ONE!


Oh what a beautiful morning in Los Angeles! The rain has stopped, the sun is shining and we have another man to add to the list of guys Paris Hilton had sex with! This time around it's that meth addict and girlfriend beater, actor Tom Sizemore who is claiming he had a one night affair with Paris after a party he held when she was 19. It couldn't get better than that. She is such a dirty piece of trash! Remember a while back I had a story on Tom Sizemore's problem of being "permanently erect?" and a home video he made of him having sex with all these different women around his house? Well, Vivid Entertainment is the lucky company to release "The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal" on DVD which they describe as having "over 70 minutes of uncut and uncensored video of Sizemore having inexhaustible sex with up to four young women at a time." In addition, Vivid has added a "candid audio interview" of Sizemore talking about a "night of raw sex with Paris in 2001." The story of their tryst goes like this:
Sizemore claims that a few years ago he had a party at his house and that after the guests left, he heard the repeated clicks of a cigarette lighter. Following the sounds he discovered Hilton by herself in his gym. He says she walked over to him and suggested quite explicitly that they have sex together. "She knew what she could do to people," says Sizemore. After a sex-filled night, Sizemore says, Hilton abruptly left in the morning, climbing into a long limousine with the parting words: "Goin' to Sundance. See you next week." He does not relate whether they got together again.
Whore Hilton is now apparently denying that she hooked up with Sizemore. Oh c'mon Paris! Everyone knows what a slut you are, do you really think that saying it didn't happen will make it not true? That's just like you claiming you can act, ain't true sister! She is just obviously embarrassed that Sizemore is such a wreck and that she did him. Ugh. I have no idea why men would even go near that skank and what her appeal is, she is probably so completely riddled with who knows what. Although, just take a look at the quality of men she dates, they are skank too. Blech. Hate her!

10.18.2005

COPY CAT.

What up with Ashton Koooootcher? He acts like he's the first guy to date an older woman. Ashton is developing a pilot for a new show tentatively called "30 year old Grandpa" that tells the story of a young man who marries an older woman and becomes the stepfather to kids nearly his age. Give or take a couple fine details, I thought that show was called Living With Fran? Even though I am thoroughly annoyed that he and Demi keep trying to hide their wedding rings from photographers (who f'in cares?!), I still think they are a cute couple. But he really is ripping off poor Fran Drescher. YAHOO

THE CHURCH IS NOT PLEASED.

Here's the website "ScienTOMogy" that's causing so much uproar among Tom Cruise's people and the church of Scientology. Gossip website The Scoop reports a legal letter sent to ScienTomogy web creators which reads, "You are hereby on notice that the registration and use of this domain name in this fashion has caused your name to be falsely associated with our client's registered mark, Scientology. The fact that you have changed one letter ("m" instead of "l") does not protect you from trademark infringement." The site makes fun of Cruise's devotion to the Scientology and recent engagement to Katie Holmes with unflattering archive television footage, spoof videos and cartoons - Funny stuff.

L.C. AND JASON? OH. MY. GAW.


It was only around 10pm last night when the previews for Laguna Beach started rolling that I remembered what the night's episode was going to center around and that was the blossoming romance between L.C. and meathead Jason. This is my girl L.C. who I have backed from the very beginning and what does she end up doing? Dating the one person I despise the most on that show! The first guy she ends up going on a date with "since December," ends up being a knucklehead cheating player who can't form a sentence longer than "eeh, hee hee, you look cute." Oh the humanity. If the whole idea of a date between them wasn't bad enough, Jason picked up L.C. in this little purple mini car. Ha. I laughed my ass off when that happened. I know, I know, this is some "fancy ass" collectors car that some people are impressed by, but not me. I'm sorry, even though L.C said, "oh, what a cool car," girlfriend had to be mortified driving down the street in that teeny tiny car while being tailed by cameras and everyone watching. First dates are awkward enough without bringing out the matchbox. Jason and L.C.'s dinner date was just painful to watch. It consisted of giggles and Jason saying "wow" and "cute (in a very disturbing likeness to the way Paris Hilton says it)," and L.C. saying "Whaaaat did I dooooo?? giggle, giggle." Stephen seemed to be only mildly bummed by the whole thing, probably just because L.C.'s attention was going to someone else other than him. We all know how Stephen gets when he is upset over a girl he likes (remember him and Kristin in Cabo last year?) and he certainly wasn't acting anything close to that. One of my favorite moments involved L.C. talking to her parents about her date. You can always count on a scene being funny awkward and scripted when L.C.'s mom is in the room. That poor woman looks so uncomfortable in front of the cameras, although she is very pretty and seems like a really sweet mom. Other than that, the only other excitement for the evening was Kristin getting a new car, a BMW SUV that really looked like a mini-van. Whoopdifreakindoo!! If you're going to get a kid a BMW for highschool graduation, at the very least get her something sporty like a Z4 Roadster!

If you're in the mood for some more Laguna dirt, I came across something on The Stencil. Seems as if someone sent the website an email claiming they had dinner with writers on Laguna Beach and proceed to spill the beans on what really happened between Jason & Jessica when she left the golfcourse with him that day (resulting in her big ass hickey, him cheating on Alex and Jessica ultimately denying anything happened), why everyone (including Kristin) was pissed off at Jessica in Cabo, the event that got 2 cast members arrested (but was left off the show) and proof that Jason really is the stupidest boy in Laguna Beach. All "allegedly" of course! It's funny stuff, take a look.

Laguna Beach Finale

Laguna Beach: LC Gets Her Own Show
Laguna Beach: What's Happening Now
Laguna Beach's Kristin Lands Movie Role
Laguna Beach Recap: LC and Jason, DUNZO!
Laguna Beach Secrets

A&E TO DOCUMENT ARQUETTE SEX CHANGE

Alexis Arquette, sibling to David, Patricia & Rosanna, has allowed A&E Networks to document her impending sex change. Filming has been going on for more than a year now, following Arquette's initial therapy sessions and her first hormone injections. The project is said to culminate with Alexis' completed surgery to which she has recently received the go-ahead from psychiatrists. David, Patricia and Rosanna will all participate in the documentary along with sister-in-law Courteney Cox. Alexis will also be one of the houseguests for The Surreal Life 6, slated to air in January.

10.17.2005

MOMMA BRIT. HOT BITCH!


Here are some pictures of Britney Spears from this past weekend in Malibu. She looks great! Word is, her and daddy Federline sold the rights to the first pictures of Sean Preston to People Magazine and they will be getting mucho dinero! Glad to see you back on the town Britney!
Photos: clickbritney

THIS THURSDAY SPIKE VISITS SMALLVILLE!!

Well, O.K. Maybe not the actual Spike, but hot hunk of love James Marsters (who played him) has joined the cast of Smallville. Y'all might remember James from his most infamous character to date, Buffy The Vampire Slayer's Spike, the vampire any girl would love to get a chunk of her neck taken out by. This Thursday is his first airdate on Smallville as college professor Milton Fine, alter ego of the uber-villain Brainiac. I was going to try and start watching Smallville at the beginning of the season, but Thursday nights are already so crazy full with The O.C., Everybody Hates Chris & Survivor (which I think I already may have given up on), so I haven't been able to check it out. This Thursday though, Smallville is a done deal, I'm there. It's also a brown hair and no British accent James Marsters this time around. The question lurking over my head is, will James still be able to make the girls weak in the knees without his trademark bleached blonde hair and vampire charm? Guess we'll have to wait and see. Smallville, this Thursday 8pm WB.

ARE THEY? AREN'T THEY? ARE THEY? AREN'T THEY?

"It's no fun wondering, is it Brad!?"

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were caught AGAIN doing the smoochy smoochy. According to Female First, this time it was in full view of onlookers at Chicago's plush Peninsula Hotel. One fellow guest said: "Jennifer was sitting on Vince's lap and kept stroking his face. Then she kissed him passionately."They didn't seem to be trying to keep their smooch secret, because lots of people saw them. Last week, the pair were reportedly seen making out backstage at a Chicago theatre, after Vaughn's 'Wild West Comedy Show.' OK. I would like nothing more than to see Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn together. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. But the question is, in a world full of camera phones, why haven't any of these smoochy sessions been captured? All we have really ever seen are on-set photos of them with their arms around each other. If anyone is aware of such smoochy photos floating around, please email me! In the meantime, I will be searching the web feverishly for them. FEMALE FIRST
THE LATEST: News of The World has the photos AND a story. check it out Very intimate if you ask me.

AW GRANDMA!

I love celebrity family members that talk. When it's Brad Pitts family, you can always count on a comment in one of the trash magazines from his brother Doug and now we can add Granny Pitt to the list too. It looks as though Gammy Betty Russell is telling Brad to slow the hell down with his relationship with Angelina Jolie saying, "The family wants Brad to go slow. Angelina's been married twice, Brad is just divorced. The family still loves Jennifer Aniston." Awww. That's right, grandma. When you meet Maddox and you hear him call your grandson "daddy," I also expect you to shake your finger at the child and tell him "he is not your father young man!" Handbag.com

AWW SHUCKS. STILL NO DATE FOR PASTA WITH BLAKE.

The latest issue of The National Enquirer had a story from gossip columnist Mike Walker claiming that my boy Robert Blake just made a very hush-hush deal and bought Vitello's restaurant (you remember, the place where Bonny Lee Bakley ate her last meal with Blake and then got murdered afterwards a block away). Walker said that the restaurant would be pushed as the centerpiece for a new reality TV show. Brilliant idea, huh? Go have dinner at Vitello's, have chats with Bobby while he serves you cappuccino and cannolis? I would live for that. Anyway, apparently The damn National Enquirer got it completely wrong and the actual owner of Vitellos, Matt Epstein, is pretty pissed off. "They're not true statements!" Epstein told the Daily News, "As far as I know, I own the place. C'mon, basic journalism, verify the facts! All they had to do was pick up the phone and call me. There's no one buying the place." When asked about the story, Peter Ezzell, Blake's attorney in the civil case being heard in Los Angeles Superior Court in Burbank said, "I have no idea where the National Enquirer would have gotten that idea, but then again, I don't have any idea where they get any of their so-called news. He doesn't have the funds to do it even if he wanted. We're running on empty now, so the last month of this trial will be my pro bono work for the year." DAILY NEWS.

10.14.2005

DROPOUT.

"Mary-Kate Olsen has taken an approved leave of absence from New York University to focus on her increasing responsibilities as co-president of Dualstar Entertainment Group and to pursue personal interests," says her rep, Michael Pagnotta. PEOPLE
WHO CARES?!!!

BOY GEORGE LIKES THE HUSTLERS.

Aha! I knew there was more to this Boy George story!! Who the hell leaves 13 bags of coke lying around their apartment after the call the cops? Page Six has the scoop on what really went down the night of George's "attempted robbery":
BOY George hired a male hustler who tried to rob him the morning the cross-dressing Culture Club singer was busted for cocaine possession, PAGE SIX has learned. George called 911 last Friday morning to report that his Centre Street apartment had been burglarized — but he was arrested when cops found a mound of what appeared to be Bolivian marching powder piled near his computer. A source said that George called 911 after the hustler he'd ordered up demanded that he hand over all of the money in the house. "George said no and that he was going to call the police," says our source. "The prostitute said, 'Go ahead and you'll go to jail.' So George freaked out because he was high, called the police, the prostitute left, and George got arrested." READ MORE

PARIS BEGS FOR NICOLE BACK & ALSO GETS PAID OFF BY THE LATSIS FAMILY.

More whore Hilton news. I know, I know, you are just about as excited as I am zzzz... Female First is claiming that Paris has sent Nicole Richie a note of apology in an effort to mend their rift. Apparently, Paris' friends have been telling her she is being petty and just wanted to put an end to the nonsense. Or, maybe it's because Paris seems to be losing friends by the minute. If I were Nicole, I would stay away from that biatch. Things started getting a whole lot better for you and your career once you dumped that skanky broad!
Speaking of dumping Paris, I also heard this morning during ":60 seconds of sleaze" on Ryan Seacrest's radio show that Paris Latsis' parents paid off Paris Hilton to end their engagement. She allegedly got $10 million dollars ($5 mill in cash and $5 mill in jewelry) and the Latsis' allowed her to publicly claim that she called off the engagement on the terms that she did not say anything bad about their son. Once a whore, always a whore!

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, $MONAAAY!$

People.com is reporting that Tori Spelling's husband Charlie Shanian has officially filed for divorce from his wife of 15 months. Tori and Charlie had been separated since August and only recently did he learn that she was having an intimate relationship with her Mind Over Murder co-star Dean McDermott. Hey, you can't blame the guy for being a little pissed off, but..... he is asking that Tori be blocked from asking for spousal support, but is trying to get it from Tori. Tacky. Don't tell me girlfriend didn't have him sign a pre-nup! But what up with this guy? First his manhood is challenged because his wife falls in love with another man and then he makes himself look even more like a pussy by trying to get money from Tori. Get a job, dude! Why not just be happy to get rid of her after what she did and move on with your life? Maybe Tori isn't so bad after all and just realized the man she was married to was trying to freeload off her ass. Have a little pride, man.

10.13.2005

DRILL SERGEANT.

Whoooo! That Madonna! She is one strict mamma! Interviewed in the November issue of Harpers and Queen, Madonna talks a bit about raising her children. Her kids are not allowed to be messy, watch TV or suck on bon bons in her home! Some of her rules seem a bit extreme (shiiit, I used to make fun of the kids who didn't have a TV when I was a kid), but otherwise, I think her next book should be on parenting. She must be doing something right because her kids always seem so well behaved, so right on Mamma Madonna! Here are some highlights from the interview:
  • She has banned television and punishes her daughter's messiness by confiscating her clothes. "I'm a disciplinarian. Guy's the spoiler."
  • When Daddy gets home, they're going to get chocolate. I'm more practical; I worry about their teeth and make sure they're getting their schoolwork done. I'm very schedlotuled, I make lists."
  • "My kids don't watch TV. We have televisions but they're not hooked up to anything but movies. "TV is trash. I was raised without it. We don't have magazines or newspapers in the house either."
  • Ritchie treats the children to pizza and bike rides. "Guy is into doing wild stuff outside, taking them out on bikes.""He's good cop, I'm bad cop. The kids watch movies every Sunday, so if they're naughty, they get their movie taken away. If they're a little naughty, then no stories before bed."
  • "My daughter has a problem picking things up in her room, so if you leave your clothes on the floor, they're gone when you come home," she explains. Bad behaviour is repaid by chores. "Lola has to earn all her clothes back by being tidy, making her bed, hanging up her clothes."
  • As for the family diet: "It's whole grains, eating things by season, staying away from food that's been bioengineered in some way. "[Our cook] prepares food like sushi or salmon. And vegetables. We don't eat any dairy here."

CHRIS KLEIN AIN'T SUCKING HIS THUMB!

Dude looks pretty happy to me.

Argh! I take one day off from this blog to have some fun and a zillion stories break! So, everyone has been waiting for the lovely Chris Klein to break his silence about his ex Katie Holmes and her new boyfriend and baby daddy Tom Cruise. Acces Hollywood is reporting that Details magazine spoke with Chris recently about the break-up, why it happened, his thoughts on Tom and how he's doing now.
Chris explained to Details magazine, the relationship ended in March for one simple reason."We grew up," Chris explained. "The fantasy was over, and reality set in. We weren't lighting each other’s fire anymore."And, according to Brian Farnham, Detail’s deputy editor, the two haven't spoken since."They have no contact," Brian said. "There was a rumor going around that she had been calling him but that turned out not to be true. They really broke it off completely." Chris said he is living well and not looking back, telling Details: "I'm not lonely. I'll tell you that, I'm certainly not crying myself to sleep at night sucking my thumb. No, Dude, I’m out and about." As for Tom's couch-hopping antics, Chris was realistic."...that's Tom. He can do whatever the f*** he wants. Who gives a s***? I mean, we've all felt the need to jump up and down on a couch. Or not!"